


Desolation

by goodstoryfan



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Angst and Feels, Brainwashing, Comic References, Family Feels, It's Goes A Different Way, Mind Control, Past Torture, Season/Series 03, The Way I Was Hoping Would Happen, Torture, Violence, end of season two
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2018-12-05 03:13:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11569119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodstoryfan/pseuds/goodstoryfan
Summary: Leo groans, his eyelids fluttering as he tries to regain consciousness. God, what happened? The last thing he could remember was the fight with-He forces his eyes to open now, everything a bit blurry, but he doesn’t care. The last he remembers was Shredder looming over him. Why wasn’t he dead? Where was he even at?





	1. Chapter One

Oroku Saki silently watches the blue masked turtle from above, his eyes following the kame’s every move. Tiger Claw was correct in his assumptions; the kame did indeed fight bravely. Though the turtle has an air of overconfidence, there is a flicker of doubt that flutters in his eyes. It was barely visible, the anger and rage overshadowing everything. The kame’s very skilled in the art of ninjutsu, he reluctantly admits to himself. He’s definitely superior over the other turtles based on what he’s seen.  

The anger and rage that fuels the turtle now, it captivates his attention. Usually when emotions overcame humans, it makes their moves sloppy...easy to defeat. The kame, although far from human, seems to be able to harness his anger while fighting, his moves becoming more forceful and precise. It is something that Oraki, himself, can do, so it catches him unaware that the kame is knowledgeable in this area. The kame certainly did not learn that from the rat.

Suddenly, an idea springs into his mind and he fights the urge to smirk. He watches as the kame rolls down the hill into the freezing water, his shell hitting it with a crash. The kame is still young, still inexperienced. The kame could be greater. He could use the kame for his own war. The turtle would be his to have and mold.  

The kame crawls out of the water, laying on his back, breathing heavily. He gives himself a moment and gets up, his fists clenched. His eyes silently urging them on, a growl forming on his lips.

It is time to prove yourself, kame. “Now, you may finish him.”

Tiger Claw, Xever, and Bradford rush forward, eager to end the kame. Shredder watches from his perch, disappointment growing as the kame begins to get pummeled into mincemeat. He starts to turn away before he sees the turtles face flash up, fury clear on his face. The turtle springs up and attacks the three with a greater force than before. Oroku Saki stealthily makes his way down towards the turtle, all the while watching the kame take down all three of them with ease. According to the mutant _freaks_ , the turtles almost never take them down and when they do, it was with the power of all four of them.

The kame tenses when he feels the presence behind him and begins to turn around, his eyes narrowing. Shredder, with no hesitation, strikes his gauntlet down swiftly on the turtle, leaving three deep gashes from his jaw to the middle of his plastron. The kame’s eyes widen with shock before he falls back, falling on the ground with a thud. The Shredder stands over him silently, staring at the unconscious face of the young kame. He begins to formulate the plan as he waits for his idiotic underlings to awaken.

When they do, they awaken in a daze, shaking their heads a few times. They get to their feet fairly quickly when they notice the Shredder glaring down at them. A buzzing sound quickly fills the air followed by an unusual ringtone, saving them from any kind of repercussions…at the moment. Tiger Claw, with an air of relief, reaches down and swipes the cell phone looking object from the turtles’ utility belt.

“They wait for him in the girls’ home.” Tiger Claw growls.

“Bait them out and destroy them.”

“Shall I bring Leonardo?” Tiger Claw asks, picking up one of Leo’s broken swords.

“No, I have... _bigger_ plans for this kame. Xever, take the kame to Baxter Stockman.”

Tiger Claw nods and rips Leo’s mask off before he ties the phone to the sword with it, taking off with Bradford. Xever takes a different direction, the kame slung over his soldiers. Shredder climbs out of the pit, formulating the plan in his head. He reaches the top, realizing he is not alone. The rat is here.

The rat looks up from studying one of the kame’s katanas, his face quickly changing from concerned to angry, but not nearly the level of the kames’. “Where is my son?!” He snarls, taking a fighting stance.

“I take him like I took your child so many years ago.” Shredder gloats, with a deep chuckle.

The rat’s fists tighten before he rushes forward with a cry. Shredder feels smug as he rushes forward as well, his gauntlet rising. The plan is underway. He _will_ achieve his vendetta!

* * *

Donnie looks on in disgust and jealousy before he’s had enough, “Uh, not to break this up, but Leo is still out there!” Donnie feels of pang of guilt before it’s placed with urgency to find his brother.

“WHAT?!” Raph yells, panic and worry clouding his eyes.

Mikey goes to explain, wanting to ease his brother’s nerves. “Long story, bro, basically-” But, he’s cut off by the window shattering, something slicing through the air before it implants itself into the wall. When the initial shock wears off, they all rush to it, wondering what it is.

“Leo!” Raph whispers, disbelief coursing through him. Donnie grunts as pulls the sword from the wall. He notices the T-Phone is tied on by Leo’s mask and pockets the both of them, thoughts swirling in his head.

“Dude, his sword is broken!” Mikey exclaims, worry clear in his tone. The turtle bros all look at each other, the same thought on their mind. These swords were-are Leo’s most valued things in the world, you could say that they were an extension of himself. To have the sword broken and not by Leo’s side…...well, what it means isn’t something they want to think about... _ever_.

They don’t get a chance to voice their thoughts when they hear a familiar, gruff voice yell out, “Come out turtles! We know you’re in there.”

Foot bots swarm through the broken window, attacking them without a moment's notice. They begin to fight them off, but the foot bots grow larger in number as more time passes. They switch to defense, with Mikey watching their backs, as they tactically retreat. April yells, “This way!” as she runs towards to exit.

She lets out a startled gasp when a foot bot appears in front of her, weapons ready. Donnie quickly throws his bo in a spear-like fashion, impaling the bot in the head. April doesn’t hesitate before she continues running, most of them behind her. Donnie reaches the door first, not bothering with the handle, instead smashing his way out as the need to escape grows larger and larger. He stops short when Rahzar springs forward, claws at the ready.

“This is for my brother!” He hears someone yell from above before April’s couch flies down and crushes Rahzar. He’s never felt more proud of Mikey as he leaps down with Casey, glaring at the dog-like mutant. Donnie has no time to voice his pride because Tiger Claws starts shooting them with his laser gun. They quickly flee, following Kirby to a hippy looking, yellow van.                                 

* * *

 

“This looks like a safe spot.” Casey says softly as he quickly pulls into a parking lot in front of a building. April still has a haunted look in her eyes and the guys are sitting forlornly in the back, Mikey clutching Leo’s sword. The car doors open with a bang when they come to a stop, Raph quickly getting out.

“Come on, we gotta go find Splinter!”

Mikey stares at him in disbelief, “No way! What about Leo?”

Raph pauses at the door, not sure what to do now. Luckily, Donnie comes to his aid, climbing out next to Raph, “Master Splinter will know what to do.”

“You can keep the sword here.” Casey announces, “I’m going back to search for my family. I’ll keep an eye out for Leo.”

Mikey thinks about it for a moment and then crawls out, looking back at the broken katana with sorrow before turning away. April pauses at the passenger seat, looking up at Casey. “Okay,“ April starts, her eyes full of concern, “But we meet back at this spot.”

“You got it, Red.” He says with a smirk and a false sense of bravado, trying to make everything seem okay.  

April smiles at his efforts, but her eyes are still sad, shining with unshed tears. He pulls out quickly, worry now overcoming him. What if his dad or, even worse, his little sister had met the same fate as April’s dad? He averts his eyes from the gazes of April and the turtles, he can’t look at the diminishing hope and overcoming grief etched into their faces. He can’t. Not when his face shows the same exact thing.

* * *

 Raph pauses in the middle of the room. He was never allowed in here, none of them were. He has always been curious, but he honestly hadn’t cared enough to sneak in or even ask if he could. It feels wrong, going into Leo’s room, but Donnie said to grab one meaningful thing before they left. He had to grab one for Leo, even if they didn't know where he is. If they might never be able to come back to the lair, Leo will need something when they find him. They will find him. They will. _They will._

Raph sits on Leo’s bed with a sigh. God, he’s so worried. Donnie explained in the van on the way to the lair. They were arguing about which way to go after the Kraang attacked the lair when more of the droids attacked them. Leo told them to go and led the Kraang droids away. Why the shell does he always have to be the hero? Why couldn’t he just be a coward for once and just run away or even “tactically retreat”? And why the shell did he have to make it so hard to pick something out from his room?!

Seriously, it’s pretty much bare in here. There are no photos on the walls, not even any Space Heroes junk like he was expecting. There’s a place to hold his katanas on the wall, but that’s it. A made bed and a dresser are the only things in here.

Raph groans and flops down onto his bed. His head sags to the side and he frowns at what he sees. There are deep gouges in the wall. He reaches up to touch them, wondering what they are when he gasps. He lightly touches the gouges, his finger tips almost identical with the start. He makes a clawing motion and recoils when it matches. He quickly gets off Leo’s bed, terrified at what that could mean. He backs away, his hands behind him pressing into the wall. The wall suddenly gives away and he jumps forward. What the shell is going on with Leo’s room?

He turns and looks at the wall. A panel is pressed into the wall. Raph tentatively pokes it and it falls out, revealing a deep hole filled with objects. His eyes widen at everything stored in there. There’s paint brushes, paint, pencils, little bottles that when he smells them is quickly found to be poison, and two more objects that he has to pull out to see what they are.

He recognizes one of the objects: it’s Karai’s tanto from when they fought Snakeweed. Raph can’t believe Leo still has this. Raph tries to swallow the lump in his throat when he realizes what it means, but he doesn’t want to think about it right now, so he slides it into his belt and grabs the other object.

It’s a black leather journal, but with thicker pages. He flips through it, seeing a lot of words, but also a lot of drawings, which surprises him, even though he saw all of the other art stuff. He assumed they were for Mikey. Shell, Leo’s drawings are **_better_ ** than Mikey’s. He comes across a page with a photo stuck in it and he instantly recognizes it as the one they took with April and Casey.

He didn’t know that Leo kept a journal or even drew, shell he honestly doesn’t know a lot about Leo. Leo keeps to himself a lot and he’s never really openly talked about himself. He would say Leo watches Space Heroes, but he hadn’t seen Leo watch it since...shell, he doesn’t even know. God, he barely knows his own brother.

With that devastating revelation, Raph pockets the journal and departs, shutting the door behind him. He’s lost in his thoughts until he hears April yell out in agony. He rushes towards her, her hands clutching her head.

* * *

“I’m sorry, guys.”  Donnie says suddenly, making April turn from the front seat to look at him in curiosity and concern. He’s has Leo’s sword in his hands. “Leo was right. If we’d just left the city when Leo said, the Kraang would never have found the lair and started the invasion. None of this would have happen.”

The guys and April, excluding Casey, who’s keeping an eye on the road, stare at him with sympathy and shake their head at him as if saying ‘It wasn’t your fault’. The turtles glance up when April starts talking.

“I have a place we can go upstate. My old family home. We used to go there every summer.” April says, trying to comfort them, but starts to ramble, which is something she does when she’s scared and nervous. She gets back on track. “We can stay as long as we want. No one’s around for miles.”

“Upstate, eh? Sounds good to Casey Jones.” Casey says, removing his mask to give April a smile, still trying to make her feel better. There’s a glimmer of misery in his eyes that makes April asks, although she’s afraid she knows the answer, “Did you find your dad and little sister?”

Casey loses the smile and turns back towards the road, his hands tightening around the wheel. “No sign of ‘em. They probably got kraang-itized.” His shoulders droop and he suddenly feels bone-achingly tired.

April lays her head against his shoulder, not saying anything, not needing to say anything. They both understand what the other’s feeling, there’s no need to say it out loud. April lets her shoulders droop as she completely sinks against Casey, staring into the side of the door, her mind a complete blank for once.

Mikey pulls his knees close to him, his happy exterior buried deep by a chasm of worry and despair. Raph wraps his arm around him, pulling him close. Mikey doesn’t look up as he asks, “What’s gonna happen now, Raph?”

Raph looks up at the ceiling of the van, trying to gather some strength, “For the first time in my life, I have no idea, little brother.” He looks down despondently, not sure what else to say. It’s not comforting, but it’s the truth. Raph’s at a loss for words.  Leo always had the answers. Leo always was the one who comforted Mikey. He’s always taken care of all of them, even in little ways that they didn’t notice...until now.

“I miss Master Splinter and Leo.” Mikey cries, pulling his knees even closer. Raph doesn’t say anything, he just pulls him closer, trying to keep a tough exterior for the rest of them, but failing. Where is his brother? Where’s Leo?

* * *

Leo groans, his eyelids fluttering as he tries to regain consciousness. God, what happened? The last thing he could remember was the fight with-

He forces his eyes to open now, everything a bit blurry, but he doesn’t care. The last he remembers was Shredder looming over him. Why wasn’t he dead? Where was he even at? He can smell the redolent fumes of antiseptic and chemicals in the air, which confuses him even more.  

Leo blinks a few more times, the room now coming into focus. His eyes widen, he’s in Stockman’s lab. Why is he in Stockman’s lab?! He feels cold metal touching his wrists and he wriggles, feeling restraints all over his body, forcefully keeping him in place. Why is he here and where’s the Shredder? Where are the guys? Oh, don’t tell him that they got captured too. Please, please, let them be safe somewhere. Please, please, **_please_ ** _._

Leo thunks his head against the metal behind him and quickly pulls forward when he doesn’t feel a familiar bump. His mask is gone. He looks down at his body and sees that his wraps, his belt, and his sheaths are also gone. Ignoring the blood and bruises covering his body, Leo instead looks down at the restraints, trying to figure out a plan when he hears a hissing noise somewhere near him. When he looks up, his shoulders automatically straighten and his fists tighten. His face becomes stoic, not wanting to give _him_ the satisfaction of seeing Leo panic.

Shredder stands in the doorway, an air of smugness and triumph that disconcerts Leo. “Ah, the last turtle awakens.”

Panic begins the cloud Leo’s mind, but he forces himself to remain calm. Shredder is just trying to mess with his head. “Where are my brothers?” He growls.

Shredder smirks, making Leo’s stomach tighten with dread. “You turtles are almost remarkably hard-shelled.” He pauses for a moment, clearly enjoying this. “Almost.”

Leo’s eyes widen in anger and his nostrils flare, “ _Where are my brothers?!_ ”

“I took them like I took your master.” Shredder states bluntly, an undertone of satisfaction in his voice.

“You lie!” Leo roars, trying to lunge forward, but gets slammed back by the restraints. He tries to escape, thrashing wildly against the bars, panic clouding his mind. The only thoughts circulating his mind, ‘ _I have to get out, I have to get to my brothers._ **_I have to get out.’_ **

“I have finally achieved my greatest triumph! My vendetta is complete. Would I lie about that?” He asserts, only telling the half-truth. Though after the plan was completed, it would be the genuine, whole truth.

Leo wants to scream and yell that it can't possibly be true, that he was lying, tormenting with his mind, that’s he’s a monster, but something in Shredder’s tone makes him not.

His head drops to his plastron as hope begins to peel away, revealing the deep layers of agony and grief lying beneath. Oh, god. _He failed them, he failed them._ If it hadn’t been for him, they would still be alive. _He failed them, he failed them._ He should have made them leave the city sooner. He shouldn’t have split up with them. _He failed them, he failed them._

God, it’s all his fault. It’s his fault his whole family is dead. _He failed them, he failed them._ He should have done something, anything. Mikey would never laugh again. Donnie would never get to further the world of science or ask April out. Raph would never get to reconcile with Slash. Sensei would never get his daughter back. _He failed them, he failed them._ Leo feels like his whole world is crumbling around him. His family are-were his whole world, he gave up everything to protect them, to try and keep them safe from harm. It’s his duty as leader and the older brother. _He failed them, he failed them._ Now, what was the point of living without his family beside him?  

“That’s not true.” Leo deathly whispers, lifting his grief stricken face up in determination. Shredder stares at him impassively, thinking that the kame figured out he was lying. “Your vendetta is not complete, I’m still alive. Why am I here? _Why haven’t you killed me yet?!_ ” He screams the last part. A growl begins to form in the back of his throat as he breathes heavily, his eyes wild. The Shredder smirks and begins to walk towards him. Leo can’t bring himself to care what that even means. Nothing matters. Not anymore.  


	2. Chapter Two

Raph stares out at the retreating sun, watching the sun fall behind the horizon, painting the sky soft shades of red and pink. His eyes are steady to the horizon, face aglow with the retreating rays of the sun. He sighs and leans back, the porch creaking with him as he moves. He pulls out the journal from behind him, the leather now a familiar touch. He runs his finger over the cover, his eyes contemplating as he debates in his mind.

It’s been six months since they left New York. Since they left everything they knew behind. Since they left behind Splinter and...Leo. Splinter gone is bad enough, but with Leo gone…. It’s bad. Leo had always held them together, looked out from them and now….it was just bad. Each of them has had their own way of dealing. Donnie has been inventing ever since they reached the farmhouse. just created something that could help them heal faster, but he has yet to test it. Donnie barely leaves the makeshift lab in the barn anymore, only to train or eat. Mikey’s basically the same as his usual goofy self, but once in awhile, he’ll stare off into the distance, a sad look on his face. April and Casey have immersed themselves in training and furthering their skills, but April has days where she wouldn’t talk to anyone, just writing in her own journal.

Which brings him to Leo’s journal. He’s the only one who knows about it. They think that he grabbed Karai’s tanto and a book of Leo’s, _Frankenstein_ . He found it when he went back into Leo’s room after they saw Splinter…. Anyways, he’s the only one who knows about it. He should tell them, he will eventually, but he wants to keep it to himself, for now. For the past five months, he’s been debating on whether or not to actually read it. It feels like an invasion of privacy, even if Leo’s not here, but he really wants to actually know Leo. The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes he doesn’t know really anything, which makes him feel like a crap brother. He wants to read it, he _needs_ to read it, but the thought of Leo’s face if-when they find him keeps holding him back.   

 Raph needs Leo to be here. Everyone does.

 “Where are you, Leo?” Raph murmurs to the floorboards.

* * *

His entire body is in pain. The electricity flows through his body once more, his back arching high over the metal slab.  His head flops against his chest after it stops. Now he looks down at hands because he is too tired to lift his head and all he can see is-

 _three_ and now he can’t stop imagining red, purple, and orange. It is comforting and warm and he doesn’t know why. The electricity starts up again and his head is angled towards the window where it is beginning to be-

 _nightfall._ The-

 _pipe_ is still creaking under the window and the dripping of-

 _water_ makes him flinch and his stomach heaves like the water is the-

 _toxin_ he knows it to be. He knows it.

He thinks back to the colors and the warmth and he can’t focus on it anymore now because everything is melting and morphing, turning gray and black and he wants the red, purple, and orange back but it won’t come back and he can’t remember **why**.

* * *

The sun sinks lower and lower, the night beginning to dim its bright lights. Raph runs a hand over the smooth leather, his thumb pulling at the latch.

* * *

Everything else is numb now and the pain is all there is. Everything is black and he can’t feel his body wasting away or the dirt and blood coating his body. Only pain. The next round he sits through, gritting his teeth while the sweat pours down his face. He has been here for a while. He doesn’t know why. This is all he knows.

No.

 _Master_ is why. This he knows, this he has been told. He is Master’s weapon, he must obey or there will be even more pain. Worse pain. He must obey. The electricity surges through him, frying him whole. He has had worse. He knows this. He must obey.

Who is he? He can’t remember. He had a name before they started their-

 _construction_ on him. He can’t remember it. He can’t remember anything. There was something...it’s gone now. He can’t remember what it was.

It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. He doesn’t know why, but that is how it is. He can’t have anything else, there is nothing to remember. There is **nothing**. He and Master knows this. He will obey or he will endure the consequences of being a

_failure._

“Ready to comply.”

* * *

The sun disappears from the horizon, darkness overcoming it whole.

Raph goes inside.  

 


	3. Chapter Three

“Ever since the invasion that is known as the Invasion of New York, humans want to know what is going on. Everything is...fine. No human is allowed in or out of the city until _Kraang_ ,” Carlos Chiang O’Brien Gambe jerks at the word, his voice going even more metallic. He shakes his head a bit, “Uh...Until the military allows it. This is Carlos Chrang O’Brien Gambe-”

“Hmmm, this guy seem a little kraangy to you?” Mikey muses, his focus on the tv.

Raph slaps him upside the head with a magazine, “ _A little?_ What are you on, the pepperoni?” Mikey glares at him until April speaks up, quickly getting distracted by her voice.

“The Kraang may have the rest of the world fooled, but _not_ us. What’s the plan, Leo?” She turns next to her right side on instinct. She slumps when she realizes what she did. The tension is the air is palpable. “I mean..Donnie?”

“I’m not the greatest at strategy, but I think step one should be to storm the castle’s walls.” He pulls out a rolled up blueprint and lays it out. “It’s not as heavily armored as the Shell Raizer, but it’s more maneuverable. It has more weapons and better gas mileage.”

Casey pushes Donnie out of the way, excitedly looking over the blueprints. “Well, let’s stop jabbering and build it this sucka!”

* * *

 The sun beats down hard as they finish loading up their new war machine, the Party Wagon. Casey finishes attaching the Turtle Racer to the Party Wagon, while Mikey loads up Ice Cream Kitty. Mikey looks out at the farmhouse that has been his home for the past seven months. Donnie is saying goodbye to Dr. Cluckingsworth. Raph is bringing the last of their stuff from the house, making a snarky comment on his way by the the two of them. April stands to her back to the van, saying goodbye to her old house.

As soon as everyone is in, Mikey closes the door. “Hello, New York Cit-ay!” He waves his arms up in the air in excitement. Everyone else is quiet, but determined as Casey finally pulls out of the farmhouse. Mikey is glad Casey decided to drive before anyone could say anything. He misses the person that used to drive.

As they near their destination, it’s already nightfall. Donnie turns towards them nervously. “Um, I think that when we get there we need to track down Master Splinter first.”

 “What about Leo?” Raph exclaims.

“Then we hunt for Leo and then Karai. After that, we free the city.”

 Though it isn’t the greatest thing they want to do, they all nod and turn forward, determination lining their features.

“What’s the plan, Donnie? Ninja-y or all out attack?”

Donnie looks unsure about what to do, “Uh, ninja-y, though that isn’t a word. We should park at the gate and sneak in. Then, we split up and look for Master Splinter.”

“And my father.” April adds on.

“And Leo!” Mikey adds too.  

Suddenly, a bright light encases the van, almost blinding them. Casey slams on the brakes, coming to a shaky stop.

“Ookay. Not good.” Donnie says.

“Oh, man! They got us, dudes!” Mikey begins to shake Raph panicked. “The jig is up, homeslice-” Raph grabs him, covering his mouth with his hand and then using the other one as well when Mikey tries to resist.

Armed soldiers begin to appear all along the wall and one steps forward toward the van, brandishing his pink striped gun. “Citizen! This is E.P.F quarantined Sector 7-B. Roll down your window.”

Casey squeakily rolls down the window and then leans against the door, brandishing his biggest smile. April looks out at the soldier from the passenger seat, trying to display a sense of innocence.

“Authorized personnel only. No one goes in or out of New York City.” He says intimidatingly.

“Whatever you say, army dude.” Casey continues to smile, whateverness radiating off him. The soldier walks away, unintentionally showing off the little, beeping metal disc on his neck.

“Do you see that?” April whispers, leaning forward. “It’s a Kraang mind-control device. I bet they all have them.” She whisper yells, looking over at Casey and the turtles.

“They’re all controlled?” Mikey asks terrified, poking his head over the front seat. “Like...Invasion of the Brainsuckers?”

Raph grabs Mikey’s face and pulls him back down to where they’re hiding in the back. Mikey gives out a small squeal.

The soldiers charge up their weapons and aim them at the van. Casey smiles, a _way_ different smile than the one he gave the army guy, and flips his mask down. This is gonna be fun. He floors it just as the soldiers begin to shoot. April lets out a small shriek and the turtles fall back, sliding around the floor of the van.

“What’re you doing, Casey?!” April yells, clutching her seat as tight as she can.

A soldier yells stop, but Casey ignores him and puts up the defenses on the front of the van. He zooms right past the shooting soldiers and rams right into the wooden barrier, wood chips flying everywhere. The soldier continue to shoot after them, but they’re speeding right into the city. Casey slows down a little bit when they’re deeper into the eerily barren looking city, sure no one is following them.

“What were you thinkin’, man?!” Raph shoves the back of Casey’s head. “You got any brains behind that hockey mask?!”

“I had no choice, Raph.” Casey supplies, “They were powering up their blasters.”

“Um, guys, where are all the people?” April asks, after noticing no one as they go deeper into the city. It saves them all from an argument between Casey and Raph.

“Do...Do you think the Kraang mutated...everyone?” Mikey asks, a broken heart expression upon his face.

“No way.” Raph dismisses.

“That’s not possible.” Donnie adds.

April looks out the window, her hand resting on the glass. She closes her eyes as she tries to feel something, anything. She opens her eyes, angry. “It’s completely possible. I sense only a few hundred people left in the entire city.” She grows worried. “They’re.. _gone_.” Everyone looks shook to the core. “Millions of people just..gone.”

Casey pulls into an alley just as Mikey says, “One good thing. If we ever run into any Kraaanngg….” Mikey trails off slowly as Kraang droids step in front of their van, blaster charged up. “Awww no!” He throws his hands on his head and drags them down his face. “Why did I have to open my big mouth?!”

The droids begin firing at the van and Casey pulls out of the alley as fast as he can. As soon as he pulls out onto the street, more Kraang droids appear with weapons.

“Let’s man the defenses!” Donnie yells, his first decision he’s held with total confidence. Mikey readies the shooters and Donnie holds up the cylinder containing the needed ammunition. “Loading up the breath mints!” He inserts them into the liters of soda and Mikey kicks open the door as soon as he’s done, both of them manning the liter bottle guns. They take out a bunch of droids while Raph’s stink bomb he fired explodes, incapacitating them. Casey drives away from there fast, running over a few droids in the process.

“Take a left.” Donnie orders to Casey, pulling out his GPS. “There’s a secret entrance to the subway right here.” The ground bricks open to let them in and quickly seals itself back after they are.

Casey drives along the railroad tracks for a bit until he stops at a good place. Donnie opens the hatch, peering out and jumping out when he sees it’s safe. The others follow him.

“You think we’ll be safe down here, dudes?” Mikey asks alarmed.

Donnie shushes him. “Full ninja mode right now.”

* * *

 “What?” Tiger Claw growls, “It can not be!”

 The rat struggles against his Foot Bots, taking down one of them with an animalistic strike. He rips off the Bot’s head with his teeth and fights against the others.

“Hamato Yoshi _lives_.” Oroku Saki seethes as he watches the rat manage to take another one down before the bots pin him down to the floor. “He survived, but not intact. He has clearly lost his mind. Become the rat I always knew he was.” Saki observes, smugness underlining his words.

“Shall I put him out of his misery, Master?” Tiger Claw asks, starting up his gun.

Oroku Saki stares down at the rat, a pathetic excuse of an enemy. “No..” Saki gets an idea, one that will help complete his vendetta in the cruelest way imaginable. “Take him to Baxter Stockman.” Tiger Claw moves to grab him and Saki adds, “Make sure the kame is transported here to headquarters. It will ruin my plans if anyone is to see him. They must not know...yet.”

* * *

Splinter stares down the shaft as the creature falls into the fan, turning when he hears a tentative, “Father?” He smiles, relieved beyond what words could say. “My sons.”

They all rush towards him, capturing him in a big hug.

“You’re back!” Michelangelo mutters ecstatic.

“I can’t believe it.” Donatello mumbles, smiling into his fur.

“How I have missed you, my sons.” He looks over at April and Casey, “And the rest of my family.” They both smile at him, relief in their eyes.

“Just please don’t try to eat my face anymore.” Casey asks of Splinter. He nods in agreement, that he can do. Splinter looks down at his happy sons and realizes there are only three. “Where is Leonardo?”

Everyone’s face’s fall and panic strikes his heart. What if the worst has happened? Splinter opens his mouth to find out more when a dark and familiar voice sounds through the lab.

“Ah, so the turtles live.” Oroku Saki booms as he steps into sight, his foot soldiers and Tiger Claw accompanying him. “And the rat thinks like a man again! Now you will know when my blade is at your throat.”

Splinter growls and steps forward threateningly. April steps up next to him, putting a hand on his arm. “No, Master Splinter.”

Splinter understands, “Yes, now is not the time to fight.”

Michelangelo throws down a ninja smoke bomb and they escape.

* * *

 Shredder narrows his eyes at their cowardice. “Tiger Claw, follow them.” Tiger Claw nods and jumps away with a growl.

It does not matter if they do not fight today. They will and he will destroy them in every way possible. He has his weapon and it will destroy them.

* * *

Donnie breathes, relaxing slightly. “We made it.”

“Yeah, by the skin of our shells.” Raph grumbles.

“My sons.” Splinter says, their attention drawing to him. “Where is your brother?”

“We were hoping you would know, Sensei.” Donnie says. “We got separated during the Kraang Invasion and we think the Shredder did something.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Tiger Claw….he threw one of Leo’s sword through April’s window and his mask _and_ his t-phone. Sensei...his sword was broken.” Mikey cries, his eyes watering.

Splinter closes his eyes solemnly. “I went to the surface to look for you all. I found one of Leonardo’s swords impaled in one of the Foot Clan’s robots. That is when the Shredder appeared. He...he implied that he did something to Leonardo, yes.”

“What do we do, Sensei?” Raph looks up at Splinter, looking lost.

“We will find your brother and bring him home.”

“We have no home to go back to. So, where to now?” Mikey sniffles.

Donnie begins to list off places to stay when Mikey gets a fantastic idea.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter Four

Mikey sits on the edge of the rooftop, swinging his legs back and forth. He’s glad they fixed everything and now he can be out freely. He hated being shut in that dusty pizza shop with nothing to do. He looks at the wall in front of him, a medium sized piece of graffiti spray painted on it. It’s mostly orange, his fav colour, and it’s pretty rad. It gives him a feeling of innocence, happiness, _hope_ when he looks at it. Mikey could use more hope right now.

They can’t find Leo. They’ve searched everywhere, talked to everyone and there’s _nothing_ , dude. They can’t even find Karai. Mikey still has hope, but he can see his brothers’ are starting to dwindle.

“Mikey!”

Mikey falls back, landing on his shell with a thud. “What?”

“Have you been paying attention at all?!” Raph yells.

“We’re setting up cameras to try and see if there’s any sign of Leo.” Mikey says slowly.

“Yes, shell for brains, but Donnie just caught sight of a the Foot on one o’ ‘em.”

“Let’s go kick some robot butt!” Mikey exclaims. “Wait, do they even have butts? Donnie, confirm.”

Raph slaps him upside the head, “Let’s just go!”

* * *

The three of them crouch in the rafters, spying down at the interaction.

“That’s the head of the Brazilian Mob.” Donnie whispers to the others. “What are the Foot doing with them?”

Raph shrugs.

The head of the Brazilian mob is surrounded by his men, there’s a briefcase by his side. On the Foot side, a cloaked figure is surrounded by the Footbots and a few Foot Ninja. The Head Mobster is saying something in Portuguese and when he finishes, he waits for the cloaked figure to respond. When the cloaked figure does, he responds in the same dialect with one short sentence. Mikey’s eyes narrow in confusion. He’s heard that voice before. It was in English though and wasn’t so….metallic and empty. Before he can dwell on it further, there’s a sudden bang! and the Mobster falls dead to the ground, a bullet straight through his eye. Smoke wisps hang in the air around the figure.

Mikey almost vomits. Raph and Donnie don’t look so hot either.

The Foot Bots get to work on the other mobsters, starting to end what they finished. The figure picks up the briefcase. The three of them shake out of their daze and take action. They drop to the ground, taking out a few bots. The Foot Ninja’s look terrified and one of them says something to the figure. The figure slips out while the three are fighting the bots.

The three of them quickly take care of the Ninja’s before following after the figure. The cloak somehow doesn’t reveal anything of his appearance. They run as fast as they can after the figure, but it’s not enough. Mikey thinks back to when he heard him.

“I’m telling you guys, I think we might know him. He sounded familiar.” Mikey yells at his brothers.

“That did **not** sound like anyone I know.” Raph replies, trying to catch up with the figure.

They keep chasing after him, but they do not succeed. Raph sees the figure drop something behind him as he runs. Before he can tell what it is, an explosion bursts in front of them, throwing them all back into a wall. Raph looks up blearily, seeing the figure has stopped to see his handiwork. Raph can’t make out his face. The figure turns to go and, as a last resort, Raph throws a ninja star at his back, hoping it’ll slow him down.

A hand shoots out, grabbing the ninja star out of the air like it’s nothing, like he expected it. All before Raph can blink. The figure’s cloak has fallen, revealing his face to the world. Mikey gasps beside him, a small choking sound following as he tries not to cry.  

Leo’s face stares out at them, an impassive, emotionless look about him. He inspects the star before he pockets it in his belt. He’s wearing black and red armor and so many weapons hang at his waist. From what Raph can see, scars litter up and down his arms that the sight of makes him want to hurl. Leo pulls out a sword from his back, it hissing like a silent whisper in the night.

“Leo?!” Mikey cries, looking terrified, confused, and happy all at one. Rap turns his gaze back towards Leo, the ball in his stomach tightening until it feels like it’s going to burst.

Leo’s face doesn’t change as he asks, his eyes cold. “Who is Leo?”

* * *

“I saw three turtles who looked like me.” The kame reports when they ask about his mission. “I knew them.” The kame states while they retrieve the information from him. The doctors look at each other nervously, the kame observes.

“No, you do not. They are your new mission. That is your knowledge of them.” One doctor flies up, buzzing around.

“I knew them.” The kame sees a flash of light, streaming through something. It.....feels....familiar. “I knew them.” The kame states again.

The doctors look at each other before they direct him towards the chair. He follows them as he is instructed. He follows as he is instructed. He does not question.

* * *

Raphael drags Mikey into the lair while Donnie follows behind blankly. Raph drops Mikey on the couch, softly as he can, before he sinks to the floor himself. Donnie walks to his lab to grab the first aid kit.

“H-How could he-? Why is he-? Raph, what’s going on?” Mikey blubbers out, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

Raph stays silent, not sure how to answer anything. He doesn’t know what happening himself. All he knows is the blank face of his brother as he fought them with a skill they had never seen before. All he knows is that their brother fought them like it was nothing, like they were nothing. All he knows is that their screams and begs for him to stop and that ‘it’s us!’ not even registering with him. He doesn’t know anything.

Raph blinks when he realizes Donnie is bandaging his cut on his arm. “Thanks.” He murmurs out, moving his arm away when Donnie’s done. Raph stares at the Space Hero VHS tapes lying next to the TV. He forces himself up and moves towards the bedrooms.

“My sons, how did the search go?” Master Splinter asks, stepping out of the dojo.

Raph pushes past him, racing to his room. He slams the door behind him, his heart trying to beat out of his chest. He tries to breathe, but he can’t and what is happening?

Raph’s eyes land on the journal on his bed. Everything stops.

He finds himself playing with the clasp once more, his heart hammering. Raph lets out a deep breath and unclasps the book, lifting the cover.

* * *

“What happened?” Master Splinter inquires, his eyes boring into Donatello. Donnie hears Raph’s door slam.

“I-uh-well…” Donnie doesn’t know. Well, he can guess based on his observations, but the shock of it all is clouding his mind, leaving it blank for once.

Mikey sniffles from where his head is buried in his knees. Donnie finishes bandaging him, trying to collect his thoughts. He places an ice pack on Mikey’s head before he turns back to where Master Splinter is waiting.

“We found Leo, Sensei.”

Master Splinter gazes into his face, his brows furrowing. “While this should be a good thing, your tone states that it is not. Is he hurt?”

Mikey starts crying again.

“He was different, Sensei. It-it seemed like he didn’t know who we were….He was with the Foot.” Donnie replies, looking towards the ground.

“H-h-he had so many scars, Sensei!” Mikey exclaims suddenly. “They were so ugly and painful looking. He fought us when we went after him. He’s so strong and fast and didn’t care he was hurting us…...His eyes were so dead, Sensei.” Mikey finishes, blubbering. Master Splinter looks concerned and worried. He walks over to Mikey, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Tell me more.”

Donnie’s throat feels dry. “I caught some Foot activity with my cameras for Leo. We did some recon and Leo was there with them, though we didn’t know it was him at the time. He-he shot the head of the Brazilian mob.” Splinter’s eyes widen, but Donnie continues. “So, we took out the Foot Bots and Ninja and went after him. We couldn’t catch up with him and then he tossed a bomb at us.

“Raph did something to get his attention and that’s when we could see his face. He asked who Leo was.” Donnie suddenly feels like crying like Mikey is. “We could see some of the scars on his arms and chest. He has one that goes from his plastron all the way up to his jaw. He was wearing Foot colors. Leo went after us and, Sensei, he’s better. Way better than we are.” Donnie wonders fleetingly if he used to go easy on them.  

“He took us out and was about to finish us off when the Foot Ninja showed up. One of them said something to him and they left us behind. Raph had to drag us back here. Sensei, he was like a robot following orders. I don’t know what they did to him.” Nothing good though. Nothing good.

Master Splinter looks worse than before. “I will meditate on this.” He pauses before them both. “Do not despair. Leonardo will return.” He gives them both a pat on the shoulder before he leaves.

* * *

_I found this journal in the dump while I was helping Donnie. I don’t know why I grabbed it, but I did.  I guess I just need something to talk to, to get everything out. I can’t do that usually. So, it’ll be nice._

_Our 13th Mutation Day is in a couple days. I don’t know what to get my brothers, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out._

_Raph’s mad at me again. He said I always rain down on their parade and he’s sick of me being there all the time. He’s right, I guess I do. I just want to keep them safe. I’m the oldest, it’s my job. I don’t want to fail them or Master Splinter. I know I’m not the official leader, but I kinda am and I know Master Splinter will pick me in the future._

_I wish he wouldn’t, but I know I’ll accept it. I have to. The others can’t understand how awful it is. I don’t want them to know. Maybe I’ll even volunteer, just so the chance that he’ll pick one of the others is lower._

_I think I’ll give Mikey some of my art stuff. I want to give Donnie a new computer, I’ll have to find one. Raph….I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get him a punching bag. I know he wants one. Maybe this year he won’t throw my present away._

* * *

“What are we going to do about Leo?” Mikey looks up at Donnie tearfully. Donnie’s doesn’t know how to comfort him. Usually….Leo comforts him and lately Raph does. Now that he thinks about it, Leo took care of them all. Ways that Donnie never really noticed before. What would Leo do right now?

Donnie pulls Mikey into a side hug and Mikey lets his head drop down onto his shoulder. “We’ll figure it out. First, I have to know what they did to him, but we’ll do it.”

Mikey sniffles, but nods. Donnie, for a second, doesn’t feel like a useless older brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay, so I know that you're all thinking that this is so Bucky Barnes: Winter Soldier and yes, the idea was influenced by him, but not entirely. In the City Fall arc in the comics, Leo gets brainwashed by magic and is a loyal servant to Shredder. I really didn't want to add in the whole magic thing, so I decided to go this route. It'll be way different and a whole lot angsty-er. I promise.


	5. Chapter Five

The kame is placed in front of fifty foot soldiers. He is expected to defeat them all, so he defeats them all. Master calls his moves sloppy and has kame fight him. The kame loses and is dragged back to his cell. Master watches as they drown him over and over again. He doesn’t say anything because that causes more pain. He doesn’t react because that causes more pain. He feels the water suffocating him from the inside and he doesn’t do anything. He is Master’s and he has to be perfect. He is his weapon. This is punishment for being a bad weapon.

He must be whatever Master wants him to be. There is no other way.

After they finish drowning him, they leave him in the cell. They will come when they need him or if he needs to be corrected again. He stays in the cell. His dried blood covers the walls, they’ve had to correct him a lot. It’s been less lately. He’s been good.

They do come later, they have a mission. He gets pulled into the chair because he hasn’t had any missions lately. This is the only pain he can react to, but there’s worst pain. The electricity digs deep in himself, burning him, destroying him. It is necessary. His Master says. He can not fail. He is Master’s. He can not fail.

It is three hours until the mission at nightfall. The mission in near a pipe junkyard by the ocean. The kame doesn’t like water, it’s toxic, but he does not matter. Master knows it. The mission is essential to Masters plans for construction. He knows what it will be like if he is a failure. He knows.

“Ready to comply.” He says when needed. They give the kame his weapons and he goes out alone this time. He complies.

* * *

“Where is Leo?” Mikey asks Donnie as they run over the rooftops.

“My scanners picked him up on top of a building on Eighth Street.” Donnie looks down at his scanner. He hasn’t moved.

“What’s he doing?” Raph asks, his hands hovering over his weapons.

“I don’t know. He’s not moving though.” As they get closer, they go slower, more cautious this time. It feels wrong, that they have to be cautious of their brother. He’s the one that’s always protected them. Now, they have to protect themselves from him.

“Quiet.” Donnie warns, seeing Leo’s silhouette in the distance. He ducks down, leaning over. “Stealth mode for now.” Donnie slowly raises his head once more to get a good look at him. He gapes, “He’s gone.”

“What?” Raph pops his head over. “Where did he go?”

Donnie hits the side of his gadget, “I don’t know! He’s not showing up!”

“Lemme try.” Mickey plucks it from his hands and hits it on the side of the chimney.

“Give that back!” Donnie tries to rip it out of his hands.

“No, let me try again!”

“You’re going to break it!”

“No, I’m not!”

Their squabble over the tracker grows louder and louder and Raph barely hears the swish of the sword poised to kill them. Raph pushes his idiot brothers out of the way and blocks the sword with his sais, his feet sliding back. Leo presses down harder on him, his face blank as Raph struggles to stay upright.

“Leo! I don’t know what they did to you, but you gotta snap out of it! This isn’t you!” Raph yells, diving out of the way from the knife that appears out of nowhere.

Leo’s face remains blank. He grips his knife, stabbing more forceful than the last. “Leo, come on! You’re my bro!” Mikey yells, blocking when Leo turns towards him. Leo’s face doesn’t react to his words.

“Why are you doing this?!” Raph yells, fed up with the situation, with how their lives are ruined over and over again.

“You are my mission.” It’s only the second thing they’ve heard him say and the emptiness of his voice kills them.

“Which is what exactly?” Donnie flips back, avoiding getting stabbed.

“Master says I must end my mission.” They all stare at him horrified. They’re bruised and bleeding and terrified. What did Shredder do to Leo to make him okay with killing them?

“Leo, bro, no! You’re our brother, you’re Leo! Come home with us!” Mikey cries.

Leonardo pauses, looking confused at Mikey. “I am not Leo.” It's the first emotion they’ve seen from him and his eyes scream lost for a millisecond before they revert back to empty.

“Who are you then?” Donnie asks gently.

Leonardo’s face has resumed its previous impassive look, his voice stoic. “Master says I am kame. Master says end the mission, so I end the mission.”

He stalks forward, weapons raised like a panther getting ready to kill its prey.

* * *

The gauntlet strikes hard and fast, sinking deep into his arm. Kame does not react and stares forward, not at the blood rushing down his arm. “Why did you fail the mission, kame?” His master snarls, eyes blazing.

“They disappeared, Master.” There is more and Kame should tell his master, but it dies on his tongue. He’s a bad weapon and he deserves what is to come.

Master twists the gauntlet and Kame can feel the rush of blood. He throws the Kame aside, “Take it to the cell and punish it.”

The kame remains silent as he is dragged back to his cell, why did he not tell his master? He should tell him now. He should tell him now. Master disappears from his sight. What is wrong with him? He is a bad weapon.

His sword was ready to puncture the heart of the orange one. For some reason, he looked up at the mission. It was a mistake. He doesn't know why he did it. What occurred next confused him even more.

He saw the light streaming once more. He still couldn’t place what it was. A voice called for him, not angry or commanding. A pair of bright blue eyes obscured his vision, identical to the ones he was staring at. 

Kame’s hand shook, the sword still perched above his heart. The orange one stared at him still with those eyes, why? The orange one’s hand slowly rose and touched the kame’s shaking one. He jumped back like it was poison, though it brought feelings of...warmth? Why did his hand burn so? His sword clattered to the ground. Was this a test? A new punishment?

 **“** Leo…” One of them said. Why did they keep calling him that? He was malfunctioning, he was being a bad weapon. They caused this.

He snatched his sword and leaped off the building, running fast to his master. They quickly disappeared from view.

The Kame stares at his hands, what is wrong with him?

* * *

Raph breathes heavily from where he is on the ground, watching Leo disappear from view. He lets out a shaky breath, his hands shaking. He was so close to killing them, without any remorse. That’s not Leo, that’s not his brother.

His eyes....He couldn't see any trace of his brother in there. None. Is-is the thing that tried to kill them his brother anymore? It’s Leo’s face, but not him. It won’t ever be him. What’s the point now?

* * *

 “He’s still there you guys.” Mikey says calmly, sitting up slowly.

“Are you kidding? He almost just killed you!” Donnie looks like he agrees with Raph. Mikey frowns.

“Almost.” Mikey repeats. “He stopped.” What he said is important, but they don't react the way he wants them to.

Raph scowls, “That must have been a freak thing. He’s set to kill us, his brothers, and I don't think anything will change that.” Raphael looks away from Mikey, defeated and angry.

Mikey tries to open their eyes, “I think he recognized me. He seemed to be looking at something. Like, not me, but me, but from the past me.”

Donnie looks at him, “That made zero sense.”

Mikey gets up and stares at his brothers, disappointment radiating out of his core. This is their family and they’re giving up like it means nothing. Like Leo means nothing.

“Look, all I know is that we can't give up. I know we feel like Shredder has won this time, but he can’t win. Not Leo. Not our family.” Raph and Donnie look guilty as they should. “Now, what would Leo do?”

* * *

 “I don’t think we’ve ever been to this Foot headquarters.” Mikey says as they run forward. “You really think they might keep Leo here?”

“It's worth a shot. Leo would say check everything.” Raph says simply. Mikey stares at him weirdly and Raph steadily looks ahead. It’s not gonna change anything if they find him. Donnie remains silent, staring at his GPS.

“If he's not there, where do you think he’s kept?”

Raph groans, “I don't know, Mikey. Maybe the place they kept Karai at or outside the city.”

“Okay.” Mikey says quietly, looking away.

Raph wants to say something to make him feel better, but Donnie comes to a halt. “We’re here.”

Raph stops, crouching down. The building looks really old and abandoned, but Raph can see light streaming through the skylight.

“Look.” Donnie whispers, pointing at something technical that Raph can’t identify. “They must use an enormous amount of electricity here.”

“Do you see any cameras?”

“Yes, but they aren't aimed near the skylight at all. We can do some recon from there.” Donnie replies before slipping into the dark towards the skylight. Raph and Mikey follow, moving quickly, but quietly.

Mikey takes a quick intake of air at the sight. There are a few people in white lab coats in the room along with foot ninja. Baxter Stockboy flits around the room, buzzing loudly.

Two foot bots enter the room, followed by Leo. Mikey almost calls out to him, but covers his mouth quickly. Leo walk almost hesitantly forward, but still robot-like, like he’s being controlled. Blood runs down his arm and Mikey can see new bruises.

The scientists make Leo sit in a chair that's in the middle of the room. They secure his arms and legs, putting a weird metal thing on his head as well. Baxie Stockler shoves a mouth guard in his mouth before flitting over to a switch. One of the scientists pull out a book, nodding at the fly. He switches it on.

Electricity courses through the chair and Leo doesn't react at first. As time goes on, he stiffens, sweat starting to drip down his face. Mikey watches horrified as they turn another switch and Leo screams through the mouth piece. His eyes though are what get to Mikey. They’re just dead. Blank.

He runs away from the building, going across twenty rooftops before stopping, the air tight around him. He-he can’t. H-he-he can’t-

Mikey throws up over the side.

Raph knows he should follow Mikey, but he can’t move. He watches as Leo’s scream never ends, just rolling into panting and groaning. Suddenly, Leo goes rigid and the electricity stops.

A scientist says something to him and Leo replies and Raph sees the robot has been reinforced.  

“We have to do something.” Raph turns towards Donnie, who’s face is both horrified and curious. “We have to grab him or destroy that t-thing or-”

“They’d just build another one. There's nothing we can do right now.” Donnie reluctantly pulls his eyes away from below. “Let’s find Mikey.” Donnie takes off in the direction Mikey went.

Raph looks down below, watching as the scientists talk to Leo, probably feeding him instructions. He growls before pushing away from the window. He hates feeling helpless, especially when it concerns his brothers. He hates feeling defeated. Leo almost killing them, set in killing them, feels like a final straw in this whole mess. He feels like Leo is gone if he can willingly do that.

  
How can he just give up on Leo that quickly? He can’t do that, even if his heart and brain are trying to protect him by pushing him away. He knows in his core that this is _his_ family, there’s going to be pain involved and he has to stop running from it.


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter 6

Raph runs a hand over Leo’s drawing. His own eyes stare at him from the page, dead and unforgiving. Mikey’s and Donnie’s are right beside his, staring with a dark malice Raph has never seen before down at a small and guilty Leo. Is this what he saw? His greatest fear? 

 

Death. Failure.

 

Raph throws down the book in disgust and it falls open to a drawing of water. Tight and restricting, suffocating-Raph snaps it closed. Failure. This whole book reeks of it.

 

White hot rage runs through his veins and all he can see is red. His hands shake and his grip tightens on this damn thing. He doesn't even process it, but suddenly he’s in the living room and he’s yelling. 

 

“We failed him!” His brothers turn their heads in confusion. “He was drowning on dry land and we all had our heads too far up our own asses to see it!” He kicks over the table and plates shatter and break into a million pieces all around him. 

 

“Raphael, what is the meaning of this?” Master Splinter emerges from the dojo. 

 

“He thought he was the failure, but all this thing shows me is that we were the failures! We were the ones that condemned him to suffering  _ alone _ !” Raph’s breathing hitches. “He was all alone.” The tears rush down his face faster than ever before.

 

Mikey looks worried. “Raph, what-”

 

He raises their reckoning, the little book that holds so much power to destroy them. “Read this and you’ll know why. Just...just read.” 

* * *

 

Donnie chooses to read it first. Both Mikey and Sensei were looking at the little black book with fearful eyes. Besides, it just made sense that Donnie would read it first. He could make sense of it and report to the two what to watch out for. Raphael tends to overreact to everything, so it probably isn’t that bad.  It’s bad. Oh, it's so bad. How-how could he have missed this? Just based on this book, his brother showed signs of anxiety, depression, and PTSD. All the signs were clear and yet, Donnie never saw it. 

 

Wait, he did see it. He saw the deep bags under his brothers eyes, how little he ate, how long he trained, the panic when one of them got hurt. When Leo fell off a building when it started to rain and claimed he tripped. How he always had to train harder than them, how he hung out with them less and less after he became officially leader. 

 

He saw the signs and ignored them because it was Leo. He was always okay. 

 

Donnie is so stupid. 

* * *

 

Mikey decides to read it after Donnie. It must be a doozy if it can affect Donnie like that and all Mikey can do after he reads it is cry. 

 

Did Leo really do all of that for them? Did he really think they hated him? Why did he hide his drawings? Leo was way better than Mikey, but he wouldn't have cared about that. Why didn’t he talk to them about  _ anything _ ?

 

Was he that bad of a brother? Mikey has too many questions. So many questions that would never get answered because now Leo  _ isn’t here _ . 

 

Mikey wants desperately to fix it, but he can’t. It's too late and Leo….Even if they get Leo back….

 

No. They’ll get Leo back and Donnie’ll fix him and then they can fix this. Their family will win because they can’t lose, especially not with this.  When Mikey is done crying (or at least able to see), he goes looking for Raph. He checks a couple rooms, but all are Raph-less. He bumps into Donnie in the hallway, whose tear stains match his own. 

 

“Raph?” Donnie asks. 

 

Mikey nods. Donnie’s smart. 

 

“I haven't been able to find him. Do you think he went to the surface?” 

 

Mikey shakes his head without even thinking about it. “I haven't checked one room yet.” 

 

Donnie knows instantly where he means and there's an awkward moment where they stare in the direction of the door, unmoving. Slowly, they head towards Leo’s room and take a deep breath before they enter. 

 

“It’s empty.” That's the first thing Mikey thinks. Where is the Space Heroes stuff Mikey was sure he had? It's nothing but a desk, a bed, and a place to hang his swords. 

 

Raph is digging furiously into a hole in the wall, pulling things out and dropping them next to him. Mikey looks towards Donnie in guidance, but Donnie’s gaze is transfixed on the wall for some reason. 

 

“Uh, Raph?”

 

“Did you read?” Raph ignores him for the most part while continuing to pull things out. 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Then, help me.” 

 

“Do what?” 

 

Raph pats his hand a couple times in the back, disappointment clear on his face. “Guess this is it.” 

 

“What do you need help with?” Mikey repeats himself, getting irritated. Man, do his brothers feel this way when he had them repeat themselves. He’ll have to try to pay attention more. 

 

“His room shouldn't be like this. So-so hidden. We have to-to-” 

 

“Unhide it.” 

 

Raph nods. “So, I need you and Donnie’s help setting it up.” 

 

“Sure.” Mikey looks over to Donnie to get his reaction, but he isn't there. Mikey glances around quickly and see Donnie in front of Leo’s bed. “Donnie?” 

 

“Are these...?” Donnie doesn't continue and Mikey gets a feeling that he knows exactly what he’s talking about. 

 

“Yeah.” Raph is quiet again. Mikey is getting fed up. 

 

“What is so interesting about a wall, yo?! It's a wall! It's boring like the rest of his room and has deep….what are those?” Maybe it is interesting. 

 

He pokes one of the hole things and it crumbles a little. Wait...his finger fits? It looks like fingers were dragged down in a few different spots. Mikey moves down his hand and gags. Oh. Oh,  _ Leo.  _

 

Mikey cries and the hugs he gets are not the one that he needs. 

* * *

 

Kame waits in his cell. He's waited four days to be used again. They made sure he was still a good weapon during that time. His throat is still raw from the water, but he can ignore it. 

 

He pushes away the water in a bowl and instead picks up the bread. They give him bread and water when he’s a bad weapon. When he’s a good weapon, he gets the rations the other weapons get. 

 

His owners have taken him to the chair three times this week. There’s no way to report what the chair does. All he knows is that afterwards, he’s their weapon again. 

 

He’s a good weapon. He is. His owners will know he is. He will show his owners he is. His wounds should heal soon and he will show.

 

He will. 

* * *

 

Mikey refuses to go back into Leo’s room so Raph and Donnie finished cleaning it up. What does it matter? Leo probably doesn't even remember that room and even if he does, now it's not the way it was. Donnie and Raph have a plan, but Mikey doesn't think it's gonna work. Still, he goes along with it because he doesn't have a better plan. They sit on the building Leo most recently attacked them and wait.

 

“This is dumb.” Mikey mumbles, kicking a beer can off the roof. 

 

“What was that?” Raph asks, his voice sounding like Mikey should answer carefully.

 

“This is dumb!” Mikey yells, whirling around. “This whole thing is dumb! You changing his room is dumb! Me thinking that we can fix him easily is dumb! Donnie thinking this plan will work is dumb! Leo not being able to talk to us is dumb! Us being so blind is dumb!” 

 

Mikey continues on, “Even if we do fix whatever they did to him, he was messed up before that and Shredder didn't do that. We did! We fucked him up so bad that he was suicidal! I-” 

 

“He didn't say he was suicidal.” Donnie cuts him off. Raph looks shocked at his language. 

 

Mikey rolls his eyes hard. “He said he wanted to go to sleep for forever, for life to stop. What the shell do you think that means? If he had these feelings before, what do you think he’s going to be like after all the shit Shredder has done to him?! We’ve all seen the scars.” 

 

“Mikey, I don't like this ang-” Raph begins, but he cuts him off. 

 

“No! I'm mad and you don't get to talk!” Mikey starts pacing. “I'm mad at Leo for not talking to us. I'm mad at us for not seeing what he was going through. I'm mad that, even though I'm so full of hope, a small part of me still thinks we might not ever get our Leo back! I hate this whole situation. I hate how we failed him and I hate how we probably can't do anything to help him because he was already hurting!” 

 

Mikey takes a deep breath. “And I hate how I heard him once breaking down in the shower and I never talked to him. I-I thought he was fine, Leo was always fine. I thought it was probably nothing, but now I know that he needed us and I did  _ nothing _ .” Mikey stares at his hands, tears budding in the corners of his eyes. 

 

“Mikey-" Donnie starts, but Raph cuts him off. 

 

“Guys!” Raph raises his sais just in time to deflect the katana. 

 

Welp, time to die following Donnie’s dumb plan. Mikey pulls out his nunchucks, but stays out of sight as much as he can. 

 

Leo has more wounds. 

 

This makes Mikey more mad and he wants this stupid plan to work. Remember Mikey, don't yell. Donnie and Raph are fighting against Leo, trying to keep his attention. Mikey swipes low and stabs Leo’s leg with the sedative. Leo barely notices it and continues to attack the other two. He eyes Mikey and makes sure to include him in his attack.

 

“Guys?” Mikey asks nervously when Leo doesn't slow down. 

 

Donnie responds by injecting his vial in Leo’s arm. Leo responds by throwing Donnie across the roof. Raph injects his into Leo’s neck and Leo whirls around, knocking Raph down. 

 

“It’s not working! Why isn’t it working?!” Donnie freaks out. 

 

Mikey knew this dumb plan would never freaking work! Mikey takes his nunchucks and quickly wraps it around Leo’s feet and arms, pulling quickly. He tumbles towards the ground and Mikey yells, “Do something!” 

 

Raph quickly comes forward, smacking the butt of his sai against his head just as Leo starts to break free from the chains. His head rolls to the side, seemingly unconscious. 

 

“Yay, we did it.” Mikey cries out weakly before falling back onto the roof. 


	7. Chapter Seven

Donnie eyes flit over every few seconds, trying to make sure that Leo doesn't regain consciousness and try to kill them all. There’s been no stirring, so Donnie thinks the tranquilizer must have finally kicked in. He’s carrying Leo’s shoulders and he can _feel_ the scars that criss-cross and cover his skin. He can tell that Mikey does too by the nauseated look on his face. There’s so many scars and he can’t even find the worst one. They're all terrible and he doesn't know what even did some of these. The ones he does though…...He doesn't know how Leo survived any of it. Disregarding the physical alone, the mental effects of his time with Shredder-

 

Raph moves the manhole cover, a loud scrape against the pavement. Donnie shakes his head. Leo will be fine. He's just being a-what does Raph call him? A worrywart? Yeah. He’s just being a worrywart.

 

“Give him to me.” Raph says after he climbs down. Mikey and Donnie quickly lowers him down and climb down before sliding the manhole cover back.

 

“Before we go to the lair, I need to check something.” Donnie quickly searches over Leo’s body, trying to ignore the feeling that arises from the scars.

 

“What are you looking for?” Mikey asks.

 

Donnie continues his search, trying to find raised skin different from the rest. “If Leo is one of Shredder’s best soldiers, then I doubt he would risk-Aha!” He finds it in his bicep. “A tracker.” He turns to Raph, “Can I see your sai?”

 

Raph narrows his eyes, “Why?”

 

“I have to get it out.” Raph goes to object, but Donnie cuts him off. “Otherwise, Shredder is going to come to the lair.” Raph stares at him for a moment before begrudgingly handing one over.  

 

“It’s not like he’ll notice another scar.” Donnie mutters before he makes a small incision. He presses on Leo’s arm and manages to squeeze it out without having to make another incision. He crushes it under his foot and hands the sai back to Raph. “Let’s go.”

* * *

“Master Splinter!” He hears his youngest yell frantically from the living room. Splinter extinguishes his incense and exits the dojo.

 

“What is it my-” The air rushes out of him. “ _Leonardo._ ” He freezes for a moment, only being able to stare. Stare at his oldest son covered in the garb of his worst enemy. Stare at the scars that litter every inch of his exposed skin. Stare at the biggest scar, one that Splinter senses came from a weapon he knows too well.

 

He thought Michelangelo was over exaggerating.

 

Splinter finds himself in front of the couch not a moment later. “My son,” He murmurs, caressing his head softly. Anger burns him from the inside at what Saki did to his son. If Saki could do this, go this far, there is no going back. He now notices the chains. “What are these for?” He demands quickly.

 

“Oh, well, Sensei, he tries to kill us whenever he’s awake, so just in case.” Raphael answers, looking sickened at his own words.

 

“He doesn’t know us.” Donatello says softly next to Splinter. “Or at least he doesn’t remember.”

 

“That’s not true! He knows me kinda. Well, not really, but a tiny smidge.” Michelangelo interjects. “I saw it.” He reaffirms at Raphael and Donatello’s expressions.

 

“It is possible.” Splinter muses, staring at Leonardo’s form. He has a feeling despite what Saki did the true Leonardo is there, no matter how small. Splinter notices the wound on Leonardo’s arm. “Donatello, go get the healing salve and a bandage from my room.”

 

Donatello goes quickly and Michelangelo leans over, “Is Leo hurt? We tried to not do anything to him.”

 

“It’s an older wound and appears to be Foot. More specifically Shredder.”

 

“Why would Shredder hurt Leo if Leo does stuff for him?” Raphael asks, his expression incredulous.

 

“Failure most likely. Perhaps for not succeeding in killing you.” Michelangelo and Raphael grow quiet at this and stare at Leonardo solemnly.

 

Donatello returns and Splinter rubs the salve over the wound, dressing it afterwards.

 

“Master Splinter,” Donatello starts nervously. “I don’t know how long Leo will be out for, but we need to make sure he can’t get out when he wakes up. We could tie him up in my lab, just until we figure out something else.”

 

Splinter strokes his chin. “I do not like it, but we can do that for now. Let us move him quickly.”

* * *

The kame slowly wakes, the familiar cloudiness of the sedative in his mind. Kame is used to it, he knows how it works. Master must be testing him. Kame does not open his eyes, but feels his surroundings. This is not the wooden floor of the training room or the gritty concrete of his cell. It smells of chemicals and metals, but there is no buzzing of Stockman. This is not Stockman’s lab. His weapons are gone. There are chains wrapped tightly around his torso and his legs and his hands are in some type of containment he can not identify. Master will be disappointed in him.

 

There is something cold on his arm, the area where Master punished him last. At this he opens his eyes slightly. It is bandaged. Kame never gets bandaged. Only if it is serious does Kame get treated, but he has to treat himself. Kame did not do this.

 

He observes his surroundings quickly. It is a laboratory. Master has never taken him here, he is sure, but it seems familiar. There are no windows and beneath the chemical smell, there is a hint of mildew.

 

He is underground.

 

According to the files on his mission, they live underground in an undisclosed location. Kame failed his mission again. Master will be upset and punish him. He must get out of these chains and get back to Master. Master needs his weapon.

 

Kame closes his eyes when he hears the door begin to open. There's an odd smell he doesn't recognize and a swish of fabric on the floor. The air is still for a moment when the person comes to a stop.

 

“I know you are awake.” The person says, his accent like Master's.

 

Kame opens his eyes. It is a rat. He’s read the file on this rat. He is Master’s greatest enemy, so he is Kame’s greatest enemy.

 

“Do you know who I am?” The rat asks as Kame stares at him.

 

The Kame is unsure on whether or not his is supposed to reply. Master doesn’t want him to talk unless it’s needed. This could be needed.

 

“Yes.”

 

The rat continues. “Who do you know me as?”

 

“Hamato Yoshi.”

 

“And who is Hamato Yoshi?”

 

“Master says you are his greatest enemy.” He has made clear his loyalty. Master will be pleased.

 

The rat recoils at his words, seemingly upset he can’t turn Kame to his side. “He is not your Master.”

 

Kame remains silent.

 

“Your name is Leonardo. You have three brothers, the turtles you met before. We are your family. Saki took you from us.” Tactics to try and make Kame disloyal. Kame does not say a word, staring at him impassively. The rat stares back for a minute before he leaves the laboratory.

 

Kame hears voices for a while outside of the laboratory before the Orange one comes in with a plate.

 

“I brought you food.” The Orange one seems happy. It is most likely because they were able to capture him. “We decided that you couldn't kill us with toast and a bottle of water, so here.” He sets it in front of Kame.

 

“Oh, right.” The Orange one hits his head. “You can't eat it. Here, I’ll feed you.” The Orange one holds it in front of his mouth.

 

Kame stares.

 

The Orange one's face falls. “Well, maybe you're not hungry.” He sets the toast back on the plate.

 

He sits in front of Kame. “I'm so glad we were able to get you. I've been so angry lately, like Raph angry, and I don't like it. I was just so angry because we couldn't help you before, but now that we have you, we can. So, I'm glad you're here.”

 

Kame stays silent. These tactics will not work. He needs to get back to Master.

 

“So, we're going to do shifts to watch you. It's me first. If you have to go to the bathroom, just let one us know and we'll take you there.” The Orange one looks at him expectantly. “Anyways, I brought some comics to read.” The Orange one pulls out a very thin book and sets it in on the floor in front of Kame. He turns the page every once in a while. This tactic is confusing.

 

The Purple one comes in after an hour and thirty four minutes. The Orange one pushes the plate next to Kame before he leaves.

 

“I'm going to check your wound.” The Purple one says before going to touch his arm.

 

Kame stares at him and bares his teeth. The Purple one steps away. The dog mutant does that to get people away. Kame concludes that it’s effective.

 

The Purple one spends his time asking Kame medical questions. Kame doesn't answer any of them. Their methods are perplexing.

 

When the Red one comes in, he doesn't say anything at first, just staring at Kame.

 

“I know you can talk. Why aren't you talking?” He asks eventually, irritated.

 

The silence he receives irritates the Red one even more. The Red one spends the rest of his time glaring at the kame.

 

The cycle repeats a few more times, the same each time. The Orange one shows him things, the Purple one asks questions, and the Red one glares. It isn’t until the fifth cycle that something changes. The Orange one tries to touch him. Kame jerks away and bares his teeth again. The Orange one drops his hand and leaves early, tears dripping down his face.

 

The Red one then comes in and starts yelling and the Purple one and the Orange one are back and dragging the Red one out. Is the Red one mad that Kame wouldn’t let the Orange one touch him? Kame will not submit to their methods, they must know this. They must be upset it’s not working.

 

The cycle adjusts and now it’s only the Purple and the Orange one. The Orange one brings things, but stays farther away from him. The Purple one still asks questions, but there are less and he mostly stares. The Red one doesn’t return until twenty cycles occur.

 

“I’m sorry.” He grunts and resumes his previous glaring. These turtles confuse Kame.

 

It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is getting back to Master.

* * *

“Has he even eaten anything I’ve brought?” Mikey whispers, looking through a crack in the laboratory door.

 

“Not that I’ve seen.” Raph replies, crossing his arms.

 

Mikey turns back to him, “It’s been two days. He has to eat _something_. Has he even gone to the bathroom?”

 

“I don’t know.” Raph is tired.

 

Donnie exits the laboratory, rubbing his face. “Well? Did he say anything?” Raph asks.

 

“No. He hasn’t said a word. I keep trying to gauge his reactions to my questions, but he keeps his face clear.”

 

“He hasn’t eaten in two days or even gone to the bathroom, Donnie. Isn’t that bad? Isn’t he going to get sick?”

 

Donnie sits down on the couch, looking more exhausted than Raph feels. “Yeah, it’s bad. However, he doesn’t appear to be getting weak, which makes me think he’s been conditioned to not eat for long periods of time. As for the bathroom, he’ll have gone by now, so he must be doing it between our switches somewhere.” He shudders at the thought of pee in his lab.

 

“Can’t we force him to eat?” Raph demands, his irritation rising.

 

Donnie sighs, “If you wanna lose a finger, go ahead.”

 

Raph rips an apple off the counter and stomps into the lab. Leo stares at him blankly as he enters. "Okay, I'm tired of this stupid silent schtick, but I’m gonna set that aside for a second because you need to eat. Otherwise, you’ll die and we’ll have done all of this for nothing.” Raph tears off the cuffs they put around his hands and drops the apple in his lap. “Here. Eat.”

 

Leo never looks at the apple, just continuing to stare at Raph with those lifeless eyes. “I’m not leaving until you eat.” Raph says, sitting in front of him. “I love you and you’re not going to die.”

 

Leo appears to be weighing his options. Raph waits as patiently as he can. Leo eventually picks up the apple and takes a bite.

 

“See? Now that wasn’t-” Something hits him in the head and he falls back. Raph moans, holding his head and sees the apple rolling away. Raph looks at Leo and Leo stares back, chewing the piece of the apple.

 

Raph growls, snatching the apple of the floor and throwing it back at him. It hits Leo in the chest and Raph leaves the lab. “He is insufferable.” Raph throws himself on the couch.

 

“What happened?” Mikey asks.

 

Raph groans, “Well, I got him to take a bite of an apple-”

 

“That’s great!”

 

“Yeah, but then he klonked me in the head with it.”

 

Donnie’s head shoots up, “How did he do that?”

 

“I untied his han-Aw, crap, there’s no one with him!” Raph sprints back to the lab and there’s a pile of chains lying next to an half-eaten apple.

 

“You dummy! What have you done?!” Mikey exclaims. Donnie calmly pulls something out of his belt. Mikey stares at him with wide eyes, “Why aren't you freaking out?!”

 

“While he was still out, I put in my own tracker and this one will shock him if he tries to leave the vicinity of the lair.” Donnie watches the tracker. “He's headed east.”

* * *

The Red one was foolish to leave his hands untied. It didn't take much to get out of the chains. As Kame quickly and quietly runs along the shadows against the walls, he observes that he was right. He is underground in the sewer. There’s a ladder up ahead that will take him back to his Master-

 

Electricity flows through him and he must be going on a mission for Master.

 

No. This electricity is different. He was on a mission, he failed. Kame has to get back to Master. Kame starts to drag himself towards the ladder, but the electricity is starting to overcome him. Is Master upset? He must have found out about his failure and now he is being punished.

 

Kame is not in the chair though. This electricity is different. Nothing is gone. What was gone? There was something gone? No, Master is all there is. He is nothing without Master.

 

His mind is foggy and the electricity is different, but he must be going on a mission. Something seems missing. He hears footsteps and those must be the scientists.

 

“-by the pipe.”

 

“Mission?” Kame asks, ready to do whatever needed.

 

“What?” Kame doesn’t recognize the voice as one of the scientists.

 

“I am ready to comply.” His vision is impaired from the electricity. He’ll have to let the scientists know.

 

“ _No_ , no complying. Donnie, what is going on?”

 

Another voice sounds nervous, “I don’t know. Maybe the electricity triggered something?” Kame feels something starting to be tied around his hands. He must be getting punished. Master will be upset he failed his mission. What was his mission?

 

Kame knows these voices though from before. Before what? There was nothing before. Master is all there is. Where is Master? Master will be upset. Why is he upset?

 

His vision clears and he sees three green figures. His mission. This is what he failed. Kame jerks away from his nearest captor and sprints to the ladder. The electricity makes his bones ache, but he drags his body forward. Kame knows worse pain than this.

 

“What're you doin’?!?!” One of them yells and grabs his shoulder, pulling back away from the route to his master.

 

Kame starts to feel something he hasn’t before, but it strangely feels familiar. He knocks his attacker to the ground and wraps his hands around his throat. “Why do you keep me from my Master?! What could you want?!” Kame growls, starting to squeeze. The other two start to come towards him, but the one he's currently squeezing raises his hand.

 

“Leo-”

 

“Why do you keep calling me that?!” Kame hisses. “Master says I am Kame.”

 

“No, your name is Leonardo. You're our oldest brother and you used to be the leader. Shredder took you from us.”

 

“Lies.” Kame says low, going to apply more pressure.

 

“Really?” The Red one says, his voice strained. “Then why haven’t you killed me yet? Why haven’t you been able to kill any of us?”

 

Kame narrows his eyes and tries to squeeze harder. His hands don’t move. “What did you do to me?” He growls.

 

“Nothing.” The Red one says, “We didn’t do anything. You’re our brother. C'mon, Leo, just remember.”

 

_The light streams through something, he can’t tell what. A voice calls for him and a pair of bright blue eyes obscures his vision. The person they belong to smiles at him._

 

_“C'mon, Leo!” Another voice says, irritated. He turns and sees a flash of red fabric._

 

Kame jerks back, pressing his back to the cold wall of the tunnel. “What did you do to me? What is that?”

 

“What is what?” The Purple one says, his bo staff still raises towards him. A smart move.

 

Kame grits his teeth, his fists clenching. They must have given him something. Has he seen that before? It seemed familiar. Why does he continue to see that then? This must be a method to keep him here.

 

They did something to him, he’s sure of it. There’s no other explanation for what he’s seeing and why he can’t finish his mission. Kame must find out what they did so he can get back to Master.

 

Kame must regain his composure, he has said too much. He must find out how they’re electrocuting him so he can destroy it and then kill them. Kame walks away, back towards his prison, much to the shock of his mission.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

Kame glances over and finds the Orange one walking next to him. He remains silent.

 

“If you want, I could show you your room.” The Orange one says, his tone quiet. It reminds him of after he bared his teeth at the Orange one.

 

Kame returns back to the laboratory where he was once held. He sits and says nothing.


End file.
